


Breaking the Habit

by HaterJo



Series: Songfics Series [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bad Friend Scott, Drugs, M/M, Peter does, Post-Nogitsune Stiles Stilinski, Pre-Relationship, Sheriff Stilinski is a Good Parent, but he doesn't know how to help, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 19:09:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15443856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaterJo/pseuds/HaterJo
Summary: Stiles can't cope with what the Nogitsune did to him.Peter tries to helpORbased on "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park





	Breaking the Habit

Helpless. 

 

Darkness. 

 

Fear. 

 

Stiles pulled his hair, head between his knees. He began to sob, wondering when the memories would stop, helpless to do anything when they consumed him like this. 

 

But Stiles knew if he was being honest with himself, the worst part was after the memories hit him. When he would pick himself apart, trying to figure out what he could- what he  _ should’ve  _  done differently. If he was just a  _ little  _ bit stronger. A little bit happier. A little bit of everything. Then he could have prevented the Nogitsune from taking over his body. 

 

He could always feel when he was going to have another bad day, could feel the overwhelming feeling of helplessness, depression, and suicidal thoughts. He stayed in his room those days and  _ no one  _ came to check on him, except Peter. They all assumed he felt safe in his room, but he  _ didn’t.  _

 

Peter was the only one who saw through the facade. Saw how much Stiles was  _ dying  _ inside. He was the only one who saw, the only one who was able to help him try to start over. His dad tried, except he didn’t know how to help. Didn’t know what to do. There was no manual on “How to Help Your Son Post-Possession.” Stiles didn’t blame him, he  _ tried,  _ which was a hell of a lot more than Scott, his supposed best friend did. 

 

Stiles was done. Done being the one that had to finish the battles. Done figuring out how to defeat the latest foe. Just for Scott to ignore everything he said. He was done. 

 

Stiles was confused, and he knew it. Why him? Out of all the people it could have chosen. 

 

He didn’t know what was worth fighting for anymore. He had done everything right, and he still got the shitty end of the deal. Why continue fighting if he was just going to keep getting hurt? It was no wonder why Peter was the way he was. He had fought for everything, and his family still died. 

 

He was done. Done instigating fights with supernatural creatures that weren’t going to bother them, just because Scott wanted them gone. He was done listening to Scott. Done with  _ everything  _ Scott was involved with. 

 

Stiles raised his head, eyes going straight to the small baggy sitting on his desk. It was the only thing that Stiles found helped. The white powder was the only thing that kept the memories from consuming him. He got on all four, not yet ready to stand, and crawled his way to baggy. His fingers slipped a few times before making contact and pulling it back to him, clutching it against his chest. 

 

He crawled back to his door and locked it, still on his knees. The last thing he needed was his dad,  _ the sheriff,  _ to walk in on his only son snorting cocaine. He needed this. 

 

It was getting worse. This time, the vortex of self hatred, had lasted longer than it had ever before. He hurt _ so badly.  _ This was the only way he could catch his breath. The only option he had. He was never going to be alright again, but with this,  _ with this  _ he could manage. 

 

He carefully arranged it onto his hand, thinning it into a line before running his nose along his hand, one nostril plugged. He wiped his nose, in case any remained before he carefully sealed his baggy back up, hiding in under a magazine in his nightstand. He always moved it, just in case his father were to snoop. 

 

He laid on his bed, eyes closed waiting for the calm to come. The calm was the only thing that kept him freaking out on everyone close to him. 

 

He remembered the first time Peter walked in on him, right before he was about to thin it into lines. Peter had taken his bag, almost flushed it. Stiles hadn’t even begged him not to, he’d just watched, eyes filling with tears as he walked to the bathroom. It was only when he heard the toilet flush that he began sobbing, unable to think beyond how not okay he was. 

 

It was only when Peter walked back in, shoulders slumped in defeat that he handed him his baggy back. Peter was definitely not okay with it, but he also wasn't stupid enough to think that if he flushed it, it would be the end of it. Instead they had come up the plan that they would try something different every week, in hopes of finding something else that helped Stiles. 

 

They had tried swimming. Stiles hated it. It made his skin feel too tight- something he knew was only in his head. They had tried reading. Stiles couldn’t focus. Stiles hadn’t been able to sit long enough to finish a puzzle, let alone concentrate long enough to finish it. 

 

So far, the only thing they had gotten close to having the same affects was painting. Stiles found himself lost in the different colors. The way they merged left Stiles transfixed in wonder. He enjoyed the way that he was able to make something completely beautiful, the way he wished his life could be, or slashed in red, black, and dark blue, just like him. He could  _ control  _ what the paint did. Where it went. It just that little bit of control, did wonders to Stiles little bit of sanity he had left. 

 

He only had to resort to the drug, on the really bad days. On the days where nothing else would fix him. 

  
He was breaking the habit.  _ He was.  _ Just not as fast as Peter would have liked. But even Peter knew that, eventually there would be a night that Stiles would completely  _ break the habit.  _

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLQs0OrHiPY
> 
>  
> 
> Does anyone listen to the links?


End file.
